Rejected Scripts

by M.A. Bakker

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04:23
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04:35

about

Rejected Scripts is an album filled with imaginative tales:

Every song is a compact story, with subject matters ranging from gleefully crafted nightmarish scenarios to playful commentaries on contemporary literature (and sometimes both!).

The music is built upon funky rhythms, unexpected melodies, rich harmonies and playful arrangements. A sophisticated mixture of pop, jazz, blues and funk influences.

credits

released March 20, 2016

Produced by M.A. Bakker www.mabakker.com

Personnel:

Maarten Bakker - all music & lyrics, arrangements, bass guitar, guitars, keyboards, backing vocals (track 2 & 8), mixing & editing, recording engineer, artwork, catering

Warren Byrd - lead vocals

Peter Weissink - drums

Natasja den Toom - backing vocals (track 1, 3, 4, 5, 6 & 10)

Simon Feenstra - backing vocals (track 1, 3, 4, 5 & 6)

Anna Zeijlemaker - flute (track 5 & 9), piccolo (track 5)

Hans van Wingerden - trumpet (track 1, 6, 7, 8)

David Wilschut - tenor saxophone (track 1, 6, 7, 8)

Jos van den Heuvel - trombone (track 1, 6, 7, 8)

Jordi Langelaan (Barn In The Meadow Studios) - mastering, recording engineer drums & horns

Rob Verbakel - photography

Special thanks to: Anna (for her endless patience), Janny & Paul (for continued support), Lonny Ziblat, Daniel Ernst & Jordi Langelaan (for invaluable feedback), Saskia Laroo (for making her gardenhouse available), Toon Verbakel (for providing the office), Albert Jan Zeijlemaker (for vintage props)

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Track Name: This Amazing Hat
“In which a vagabond finds a new headpiece, and new confidence.”

In the summer
In the city
In a dumpster in the street

That's where I found it
I looked around me
And there was no-one to be seen

I took a breath
I took a dive
I felt the trash and I felt alive

This is how it started

Next morning
Sunday morning
Feel different to the core

I don't remember
Whatever happened
I'm not myself and I'm not sure

Get on my feet
I touch my head
I feel the hat, I feel so fine

Tell us 'bout the hat now

So black
So high
Even the heat don't dare
Look me in the eye

Round edge
Smooth sides
I'm the king of tramps now baby
Watch me as I fly

This hat is an amazing hat
Keeps me warm while I still look cool
From a bum straight to a real class act

Stylish and sweet
He's the king of the street

Black Betty
Raw Freddy
Fat Ed and mr. Chang

My new minions
My hat companions
We've invented our own slang

It's my domain
You don't complain
You pick the street I name the price

Now we're getting somewhere

Conclusion
A great fusion
Of function and of style

I was a no-one
But now I'm someone
And I will be for some while

A pimp pope
A bum boss
A tyrant tramp, a cool clochard

Tell us 'bout the hat now
So black
So high
Even the heat don't dare
Look me in the eye

Round edge
Smooth sides
I'm the king of tramps now baby
Watch me as I fly

This hat is an amazing hat
Keeps me warm while I still look cool
From a bum straight to a real class act

Stylish and sweet
He's the king of the street

We are walking the streets
To the sound of the beat
Everybody wants to see the hat
It’s black and tall, and cooler than y’all
A sight you won’t forget

I’m like a gorilla, with a roar like Godzilla
When I’m walking down my turf
I smite the few, that don’t do like I do
So you better not get on my nerves

Like a big scary bat with a sizeable hat
I’m soaring in the dark of the night
I got nothing to fear, got nothing to do
I guess that’s quite alright

This is the end of the song,
And I’d love to go on
But we’re running out of time
If you like this beat just press ‘repeat’
And you’re gonna be just fine
Track Name: It's a Dirty Job
“In which a monarch undervalues his privileges, and dreams of the simple life.”

I’m thinking of a major break
A furlough from this daily grind
I’m thinking bout some R & R in Spain

A weekend kicking balls and stuff
Relieved from my old reign
This crown drives me insane

It’s a dirty job
But someone’s got to do it

Sure it looks like fun
Though there’s really not much to it

Taking heads and lands
Maidens and taxes

Wearing custom made costumes
And free Disneyland access

Shooting craps with the Pontiff,
Though he’s quite the boring dude

I wish I was a worthless peon just like you

I’m aching for a holiday
A beach resort in Koh Samui
I’m dreaming of bikinis in the sand

No whippings for a day or nine
No jousts and no crusades
Just Thai Sabais in spades

It’s a dirty job
But someone’s got to do it

Sure it looks like fun
Though there’s really not much to it

Taking heads and lands
Maidens and taxes

Wearing custom made costumes
And free Disneyland access

Shooting craps with the Pontiff,
Though he’s quite the boring dude

I wish I was a worthless peon just like you
Track Name: All We Need (Is a Little Bit of Luck)
“In which a young couple takes desperate measures to dodge the WWII draft.”

The Voice of America
Whispers in our ears
“All tough boys
Go pack your bags”

A message in a grimmish tone
We, for now, ignore
I light another Chesterfield
Look to the skies, and we relax

Yes
I wish that time stood still
Dear
Go gather our bags

All we need is a little bit of luck
A Cadillac
And a small amount of bucks
We’ll stay at the Last Frontier
Mexico’s close

Yes we’ll roam the Strip
On the down low for a while
Play Caribbean stud
While you flirt and wink and smile
In the evening we’ll be free
Gone to Merida

We hide in a damp motel
Lit by neonlight
Close the door
And catch our breath

We’d fight if there’d be time for that
Instead we hug and sigh
I light my final Chesterfield
Stare at the door, and we relax

Yes
I wish that time stood still
Dear
Grab all that is left

All we need is a little bit of luck
A Hillman Minx
And a small amount of bucks
We’ll drive to that last frontier
Mexico’s close

Yes we’ll drive on down
US highway 95
Entertain some men
I take pictures for their wives
In the morning we’ll be free
Gone to Merida
Track Name: Fright Night
“In which a couple brings home a nice memento from Italy,
and inadvertently summons the dark army.”

I thought I told you
To be careful with that book
It’s smelling funny
And I'm frightened by its looks
Old crusted pages
And a blood-red colored print
Ghastly looking pictures
That keep changing with each glimpse

Now you can hear the people screaming
On Magnolia Boulevard
There's no use for fancy hideouts:
They can smell just where you are
Where exactly did they come from?
Shirley, we will never know
But now you've lit that cosmic beacon
It's a safe bet where they'll go

Yeay it's

Fright Night
Feel the heat
Something’s clawing
At my feet
Strange emissions
A thousand eyes
Sudden death comes as no surprise

When we entered
That old shady antique store
I had a feeling
That I never felt before
The crippled owner
With the missing upper lip
Told us stories of old writers
With satanic partnerships

As on obscure souvenir
From this ancient part of Rome
There was not much need for sno-globes
So we purchased that old tome
For 6 dollar 66
It was a bargain sure as hell
And we left while being stared at
By the freaky clientele

Yeay it's

Fright Night
Feel the heat
Something’s clawing
At my feet
Strange emissions
A thousand eyes
Sudden death comes as no surprise

Now we’re stuck here
In this shelter underground
Feeding on the exotic mushrooms
That I found
They bring us visions
Of depression and defeat
But that surely can’t be worse
Than all those freaks that roam the streets

While you try to figure out
If the barricade will hold
I am contemplating methods
To defeat this evil horde
Then suddenly it’s freezing
We drop our coffee to the floor
Sprinting for our secret exit
‘Cause they’re knocking at our door

Yeay it's

Fright Night
Feel the heat
Something’s clawing
At my feet
Strange emissions
A thousand eyes
Sudden death comes as no surprise
Track Name: Ming Zhao Paradise
“In which a naive tourist earns herself a one-way ticket to a Chinese detention complex.”

Sue walked around
Smile on her face
West-Beijing airport
Was a wonderful place

Plenty of shoppin’
Prizes a droppin’
While the planes rose into the air
It was extraordinaire

Welcome to Customs
Can we check your bags
You see one of them’s moving
And I think I see legs

You know it’s illegal
To smuggle small people
Animals and Asian chairs
Put your hands in the air

Welcome to the Ming Zhao paradise
Where the kicks are for free
The restrooms are communist
So you share them with three

Take your time to browse the menu
You can pick your own disease

You’ll see that our service is very nice
You may pick how we whip
There’s plenty mosquitos
For the entire trip

Everybody’s loving our regime

Flash back some hours
To the animal shop
If you’re in Beijing
‘Tis the place you must stop

Sue bought Chihuahuas
Three Dalai Lamas
And a wagonload of Asian stools
Now we know she’s a fool

Welcome to the Ming Zhao paradise
Where the kicks are for free
The restrooms are communist
So you share them with three

Take your time to browse the menu
you can pick your own disease

You’ll see that our service is very nice
You may pick how we whip
There’s plenty mosquitos
For the entire trip

Everybody’s loving our regime

At night you hear the chains a-janglin’
The muted screams you know so well
It reeks of sulphur
Of fire and brimstone
It’s oh so swell!
Track Name: Jet Set Dream
“In which a former lover turns up to prevent a hypergamous marriage from happening.”

Send a postcard to L.A.
Addressed to all your girlfriends
“It's passé”
Jack popped the groom
Restyled the room

Francois wasn't without faults
At least he had
His private shopping mall
But not a gun
And too much rum

You better scream
For your daddy
Say goodbye
To your jet set dream
Au revoir

Tear up your dress
Burn the pieces
Light the sky
Your happy honeymoon has
Ditched the bride

Mommy's lifted cheeks turned red
While all the guests
And pricey barmaids fled
“So sad for me”
No bon party

Then he looked you in the eye
He grew some wings
And flew into the sky
What sweet revenge
You cursed in French

You better scream
For your daddy
Say goodbye
To your jet set dream
Au revoir

Tear up your dress
Burn the pieces
Light the sky
Your happy honeymoon has
Ditched the bride

Life is so cruel
They win, you lose
Don't fret I say
Things get worse
The more you pay

Send a letter from Hawaii
“A change of plans of plans
Start looking for a guy”
Success depends
On these demands:

Twenty Gold Cards and a boat
Rolls Royce, a plane
A garden house that floats
Nice hair, slick moves
And bulletproof

Bulletproof

You better scream
For your daddy
Say goodbye
To your jet set dream
Au revoir

Tear up your dress
Burn the pieces
Light the sky
Your happy honeymoon has
Ditched the bride
Track Name: Goodnight Suzanna
“In which a woman turns out to be too intense of a personality for our protagonist.”

It lasted seventeen days
And I’m still amazed I got that far

To her life was like a race
With my sanity as the finish line


She was a metaphor for more
An angular curve
No nerve
No fear
My dear

I can’t hold on

Goodbye
I’ll miss you my dear
Farewell
Etcetera
Good night, Suzanna

It’s been one hell of a ride
Italian opera seems tame
Compared to you

She had a beautiful place
A nice use of space and time

There we made love on the floor
From seven to four
What more could you want?

I drank more coffee than was fun
But still I was gone
So stunned
So beat
This heat

I can’t hold on

Goodbye
I’ll miss you my dear
Farewell
Etcetera
Good night, Suzanna

It’s been one hell of a ride
Italian opera seems tame
Compared to you

Oh Suzanna,
This been going on too long
I didn’t realise
That everything could go wrong
When I hold you in my arms
Disaster with a charm, oh!

Goodbye
I’ll miss you my dear
Farewell
Etcetera
Good night, Suzanna

It’s been one hell of a ride
Italian opera seems tame
Compared to you
Track Name: House of Leaves
“In which a young father sees the benefits of living in a haunted, space-defying mansion.”

Inspired by Mark Z. Danielewski’s novel ‘House of Leaves’.

Our house
Is a creepy house
Expanding without growing

Our house
Is a spooky house
It’s insides overflowing

It moves
When you look away
It’s blueprints wrong upon review

Our house
Is an evil house
And it’s looking to get you

Our home
Is an awkward home
I’ve got miles of tape to prove it

We’ve tried
To explore its depths
To find the evil and remove it

We felt
Like true pioneers
Drawing maps guided by thread

Our home
Is an endless home
And I fear it wants us dead

While the spiral staircase
Twists and winds
And this mansion’s dread
Invades our minds
I can’t help but think
There’s finally room for a pool
In this House of Leaves

This house
This uncanny house
I have kinda grown to dig it

Though bleak
And diabolical
There’s a million ways to rig it

A spa
And a tennis court
A labyrinth for kids to play

This house
Holds a thousand ways
To keep you busy when you stay

While the spiral staircase
Twists and turns
And we wake up badly
Bruised and burnt
We can now accommodate
My mother-in-law
In this House of Leaves

At night I go in drifting
Counting sheep and Minotaurs
I dance to songs of echo
And I read footnotes for hours
For hours!

My house
My amazing house
I can talk ‘bout it for ages

I write
And I document
Aiming for a million pages

The kids
Like to hide and seek
I haven’t seen them for a while

My house
My fantastic house
It never fails to make me smile

While the spiral staircase
Twists and dives
And an unseen terror
Wants our lives
I am glad we’re able to
Adopt some more cats
In this House of Leaves
Track Name: The Sirens of Titan
“In which the luckiest man on earth parts with his current life,
to party down with the galaxy’s finest girls.”

Inspired by Kurt Vonnegut’s novel ‘The Sirens of Titan’.

Take me to Mercury, and beyond
Past the shooting stars
Via Martian wars
Astral avatars
And so on

Cleanse me from memories of the past
Of my lucky days
And mischievous ways
And my lack of grace

When I’ll arrive
I’ll finally feel alive

Oh the Sirens of Titan
Hook me up with the right one
Black, white and golden skin
I don’t know where to begin

Curvy hips in a vacuum
Hold your breath and go get ‘em
This is deep-space party time
It’s out of this world

Make me a puppet in your plan
Rearrange my life
Born again through strife
And a brand new wife
‘Cause you can

Give me my final days in space
I’ll relax and all
In my Taj Mahal
Watch the girls play ball

If I’ll survive
I’ll finally feel alive

Oh the Sirens of Titan
Hook me up with the right one
Black, white and golden skin
I don’t know where to begin

Pretty girls that are weightless
Never more I’ll be dateless
This is deep-space party time
It’s out of this world

Oh the Sirens of Titan
Hook me up with the right one
I said black, white and golden skin
I don’t know where to begin

Curvy hips in a vacuum
Hold your breath and go get ‘em
This is deep-space party time

Pretty girls that are weightless
I will never be dateless
This is deep-space

Zero-gravity boobies
This ain’t no game for newbies
This is deep-space

Chrono-synclastic hooters
And quantum computers
This is deep-space

Astronomical cuties
Blowing licks on their fluties
This is deep-space

Sexy space señoritas
And black hole margaritas
This is deep-space party time
It’s out of this world
Track Name: OASIS
"In which a man longs to reconnect with a former lover, through cyberspace."

Inspired by Ernest Kline's novel 'Ready Player One'.


We screamed
We cried
We fought most every day

We took the love we both created
And let it slip away

I don't remember what you feel like
Or how you sound these days

But when I'm sad
Or down
Or lonely
I only want to say:

Let's slip into the OASIS
And have some private time
We'll chill and play some music
Sweet music
In this dream sublime

No touch
Is real
And yet it feels so true

A world composed of rays and vectors
Of green and red and blue

Not bothered by our true appearance
We'll reboot our own past

A wishful thought
But worth pursuing
While hoping for the best

Let's slip into the OASIS
And have some private time
We'll chill and play some music
Sweet music
In this dream sublime