“In which a young father sees the benefits of living in a haunted, space-defying mansion.”

Inspired by Mark Z. Danielewski’s novel ‘House of Leaves’.

Our house
Is a creepy house
Expanding without growing

Our house
Is a spooky house
It’s insides overflowing

It moves
When you look away
It’s blueprints wrong upon review

Our house
Is an evil house
And it’s looking to get you

Our home
Is an awkward home
I’ve got miles of tape to prove it

We’ve tried
To explore its depths
To find the evil and remove it

We felt
Like true pioneers
Drawing maps guided by thread

Our home
Is an endless home
And I fear it wants us dead

While the spiral staircase
Twists and winds
And this mansion’s dread
Invades our minds
I can’t help but think
There’s finally room for a pool
In this House of Leaves

This house
This uncanny house
I have kinda grown to dig it

Though bleak
And diabolical
There’s a million ways to rig it

A spa
And a tennis court
A labyrinth for kids to play

This house
Holds a thousand ways
To keep you busy when you stay

While the spiral staircase
Twists and turns
And we wake up badly
Bruised and burnt
We can now accommodate
My mother-in-law
In this House of Leaves

At night I go in drifting
Counting sheep and Minotaurs
I dance to songs of echo
And I read footnotes for hours
For hours!

My house
My amazing house
I can talk ‘bout it for ages

I write
And I document
Aiming for a million pages

The kids
Like to hide and seek
I haven’t seen them for a while

My house
My fantastic house
It never fails to make me smile

While the spiral staircase
Twists and dives
And an unseen terror
Wants our lives
I am glad we’re able to
Adopt some more cats
In this House of Leaves